Once again I have an opportunity to reflect more deeply on the nature of remembrance in my life. While I think about war and conflict on a daily basis as a defence consultant and as someone who lives with PTSD, my thoughts always become more focused in the last week of October and the first week of November. For most of my life, my thoughts focused on the Second World War service of my father, grandfather, and father-in-law. More recently, I think about the service of friends and colleagues who are starting to leave our Earthly experience with the passage of time and accumulated service-related injuries. This afternoon I will be attending the funeral services for a colleague who I served with in 1st Field Artillery Regiment in Halifax, Nova Scotia from 1988 to 1990. I was a relatively young Captain, and he was a middle-aged Warrant Officer. We were both members of the “Regular Force Cadre” (RFC) within this storied Primary Reserve unit. The RFC was expected to support the Reserve Commanding Officer in ensuring that his unit used the most up to date technical drills and tactics within the context of their resource challenges. The RFC was also expected to model professional behaviour. I inherited a rather challenging circumstance in which these lines were blurred in a unit wherein personal relationships often trumped rank. It could have been a miserable posting, but it turned out to be one of my favourites, in no small part due to the unflinching support and loyalty I had from my older colleague. I think of selflessness in service when I think of him. RIP Jerry, END OF MISSION, Good Shooting, STAND EASY, your example will remain with me for the rest of my life.
RRB #7 – Mark McMorris
The sports world – and most people – love an Olympic “hero overcomes adversity” story, and another Canadian snowboard team member – Mark McMorris fits the template perfectly.
At Sochi 2014 Winter Games, McMorris won the Bronze Medal in the Olympic debut of snowboard slopestyle for Canada’s first medal of the Games. That came just two weeks after he had broken a rib at the Winter X Games in Aspen, Colorado. This was just the first major injury in a string of injuries that were to follow.
In February 2016, he broke his right femur in a crash landing at a Big Air competition in Los Angeles. Off his snowboard for eight months, Mark had a fantastic comeback in 2016-17, including winning the Big Air World Cup – a test event for the PyeongChang 2018 Olympics. Unfortunately in late March 2017 he sustained multiple injuries in a backcountry snowboarding accident, including fractures to his jaw, left arm, pelvis and ribs as well as a ruptured spleen and collapsed left lung. Despite the severity of his injuries Mark made yet another comeback. He won the first competition he entered, a Big Air World Cup in Beijing in late November 2017. He went on to win his second straight slopestyle Bronze Medal in the PyeongChang 2018 Games, sharing the podium with Silver Medallist teammate Max Parrot.
Mark’s painful recovery continued after the 2018 Games. Among the various surgical procedures, he underwent “hardware removal from my femur and my jaw.” Mark observed that given all his injuries it has been a lot of work just to get moving some days.
“Physically, I’m doing amazing, but it would be better if I didn’t break 17 bones four years ago,” McMorris said. “I’m so thankful to be where I am.”
Mark’s secret sauce – gratitude that he can bounce back – and win. His is the only Olympian to win three consecutive Bronze Medals in the same event.
POST HOLIDAY HABIT HACKS
2021 was a tough, emotional roller coaster of a year as COVID-19 provided a Second, Third, and a Fourth Wave. Just when we thought it might be safe to resume our routines, the Fifth Wave – Omicron – arrived at the start of the 2021 Holiday Season. For many people, new disappointment compounds older disappointment. Key questions at year-end 2021/early 2022 might be “Where are we?” and “Where do we go from here?”
Why Environment Based Habits Often Fail
Trying to predict the COVID – driven availability of restaurants, schools, shopping malls, and gymnasiums is challenging, and will frequently lead to disappointment. If you cannot control the environment you must find new ways of perceiving your environment. For example, pandemic-related uncertainty makes New Year’s Resolutions such as more quality gym time difficult to maintain when the gym is closed, or it closes so frequently that you are reluctant to commit to a three, six, or twelve-month membership. The same might be said of starting a quilting class, a new language, a new relationship, or a new job. If we cannot depend on a stable external environment, how might we move ahead with healthy habits?
Healthy Responses to Losing the Old Environment
Habits are conditioned by the environment in which they are formed, and if the environment changes the habits can be lost. The loss of a favourite gym spin class, yoga studio, or pottery shop and quilt guild can be disorienting for many people. It is all too easy to dwell on what you have lost. Negative Thoughts can occupy your brain – so that you can feel sad, worried, angry, and anxious. This uncertain state is when unhealthy habits may embed, habits such as:
• Eating without prior planning because it feels good;
• Procrastinating because you are too overwhelmed to even get started;
• Lying in bed all day because you are “just too tired to do anything;”
• Surfing the Net or watching TV all day because you “just don’t feel like doing anything;”
•Using alcohol, marijuana, or other substances to “calm” or “stimulate” your brain;
• OR …. fill in the blank with whatever habit that doesn’t serve your best interests.
The Way Ahead – Develop a Future Focus
“Break old patterns that no longer serve you” is easy to say, but it is hard to do alone. You are more likely to succeed if you have a multi-layered strategy, including an “accountability coach,” and habit-building routines.
Accountability…find:
• AN EXPERT COACH. If possible, try person-to-person, with allowances for social distancing, masks, etc. However, COVID-19 has made using the Internet normal. You can easily find an:
o Online local gym, studio, or guild.
o YouTube has thousands of free videos on every subject under the sun.
• ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER(s):
o This might be your coach or your teacher, but it works better if you have a peer sharing the same experiences with you.
o Having one partner, or two, or ten helps keep you coming back for more sessions for social reasons. Nothing builds an accountability community better than having a chance to mutually gripe about the weather, if outside, or that perky teacher if in an online class.
o If you absolutely must, deputize a family member or friend that you respect enough to NOT rebel if they do call you to account.
Habit Building
• CREATE your own Micro-Environment. Create what ancient monks called the sanctum, sanctorum – “The Holy of Holies” – your private place, in which you find more space for your spirit to expand than you would outside. This may be your basement, your garage, your spare room – wherever you feel totally at home – and without distractions. Leave your phone outside your private space unless you are watching an instructional video.
• PUT MONEY where your mouth is:
o INVEST money in decorating your private space so you have financial “skin in the game,” and you want to make it worth your investment. Posters, workout charts, quilt photos, framed quotes from “thought leaders.”
o BUY that yoga mat, barbell, or sewing machine that you have being thinking about for months (or years).
o TACK the sales receipt where you can see it as a reminder of your commitment. (Lots of well-intentioned stationary bikes, yoga mats, and cross-country skis start to gather dust after a month of activity).
• THROW MUD on the Wall.
o DON’T WAIT to pick the ‘perfect time’ – it’s never going to happen.
o PUT your finger on the calendar and on a time slot – and just do it.
o ADJUST the day/precise time later if it proves to be unmanageable. Do NOT think that you have failed, MEASURE, ADJUST, MOVE ON.
• Time Based Habits. Routine is one of the best ways of controlling your perception of a situation. Knowing what is coming next is comforting, it facilitates planning, and it reduces mental stress.
• Eat with workouts or classes in mind.
• Fitness watches, such as a Fit-Bit or Apple Watch can help to keep you on schedule. Remember to turn the volume down at work or home to not disrupt others who may come to resent being reminded of your schedule.
• Sleep is the master-key. Same time to bed, same time to rise whenever possible.
o DISCONNECT from electronic devices 90 minutes before bed.
• When you get off schedule, DO NOT quit. The very essence of mindfulness is noting that you have drifted off your path. Simply get back on the path – without judgement and start again.
• BE PATIENT. Habit formation guidelines vary. You may read, 21, 45, 60, 90 days as the magic number. Just accept that it will take awhile and keep going. Consistency is the key.
Small Steps – Micro Habits Support Major Change
• Ambush your laziness with Visual Cues. Before bed – Put your sports, yoga mat, pottery kiln, quilting equipment where you can see it, even if you have to trip over it or step over it to remind yourself to just do it.
• Match the brain with the action. Turn off the Thinking Brain. Stop talking about it and do it. When you get up – don’t think, don’t talk, don’t check your email, just do one set of whatever – and then go pee.
• Pre-plan and PRACTICE your immediate actions (IA). If you feel yourself spinning off into “I am too tired” or “I am too busy,” etc. have an IA ready to go.
o PLAY your go-to psych up song.
o GO OUT for a 5 -minute walk.
o SPLASH cold water on your face.
o TAP the middle of your forehead with two fingers for 15-20 seconds until you disrupt your thoughts.
o DO one (or two) quick mental readiness routines, e.g. a 60 second Pilates flow, a Yoga Sun Salutation, your pre-run stretches, your singing warm-up, etc.
o The purpose of the IA is to get you “out of your head and into your body” long enough to break the mental spin-out, rationalizing, etc. Once you are into it your brain will likely say “Here we are let’s keep going.”
o PRACTICE your IAs so that they work when you really need them. “In case of emergency – break glass” seldom works. Your IAs are instinctive.
Summing up. COVID induced isolation needs more tools:
o BE FLEXIBLE. Mix and match whatever combination of micro-habits works for you.
o “RINSE, REPEAT” as necessary.
o REACH OUT. Lean on your accountability coach, partners, and routine when you need a brief break or a boost.
MENTAL HEALTH FOR THE HOLIDAYS
This post was originally published as an article in Silver: The Art of Living Well magazine:
Mental Health for the Holidays | SILVER (silvermagazine.ca)
I retain the Creative Commons license and choose to publish the article here as well.
COVID-19 changed our predictable routines, necessitating remote work arrangements, physical distancing, and wearing masks. Everything from shopping to attending sports and social events now necessitates planning. Add workload, traffic congestion, home schooling, and alcohol to the mix and you have a sure-fire recipe for frayed nerves and lost tempers. According to a Canadian Association for Mental Health survey of 1000 adults in March 2021, 20.9 per cent of respondents indicated moderate to severe anxiety levels, 20.1 per cent reported feeling depressed, and 21.3 percent reported feelings of loneliness.
Mental health and addictions admissions in Nova Scotia Health Central Zone more than doubled between April – June 2020 (191) and April -June 2021 (458). These mental pressures often worsen during the Holiday Season as people try to maintain family traditions, shop for gifts, and socialize at home and at work. As waiting lists for mental health treatment are often years long, there is an urgent need for non-clinical ways to help people suffering from anxiety and depression. Thankfully, there is a centuries old tradition which is backed by evidence-based science – mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment without judgement, and with compassion for your errors, and for those of other people. You can start applying mindfulness in your daily routine immediately. The old adage, “Any task worth doing is worth doing well” sums it up. Rather than drying an old plate with your attention on the radio, stop to think that this was grandma’s serving plate for many family celebrations. Count the crenulations and notice the intricacy of the flower design for the first time. Think of the love that went into the preparation of those meals. Cooking is particularly well-suited to practicing mindfulness due to the focused attention needed to measure, cut safely, adjust temperatures, and set cooking times. The Holiday Season offers numerous opportunities for mindful participation in family traditions as we haul out treasured ornaments and our favourite family recipes. Savour eating that special cookie with all five senses rather than bolting it down and reaching for another one. The Holiday Season offers numerous opportunities for sharing the same mindful experiences!
Mindfulness is best developed through meditation, which is the practice of holding our attention on an object of meditation, or an “anchor.” The key is to return to the anchor whenever you feel your mind start to drift. This action of noticing the drift and returning to the anchor is the very essence of mindful meditation. You can learn meditation from books, the Internet, and classes. Classes offer the guidance of a teacher and the support of other students.
Paying Attention to Paying Attention
Sometimes I gain amazing insight from my students, both on the mat and in a mindfulness class. During my initial Koru Mindfulness class Wednesday night we were discussing the definition of mindfulness, as posited by the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn. Kabat-Zinn defines mindfulness as “the act of paying attention to the present moment without judgment, and with compassion for yourself and others.” This succinct definition captures the essential elements of mindfulness, and it is used by many teachers in the Mindfulness Community. In the discussion one of my students added, so then “we are paying attention to paying attention.” I think that this is a great summary of how to best practice mindfulness and I am grateful for their inspiration.
Trauma Informed Mindfulness, a.k.a. Trauma Sensitive or Trauma Responsive Mindfulness Training
Dr. Gabor Matte, the renowned Canadian specialist describes trauma as being more than the precipitating event (or events) in the quote below:
I am always eager to add to my knowledge of how to best welcome people living with the aftermath of traumatic experiences to the yoga mat, to a mindfulness class or sangha (meeting), or to one of my resilience coaching programs.
I am participating in a three-day course on how to better understand the varied sources of trauma and how to apply best practices in bringing our students the best possible experience. Sometimes, the traditional meditation method of “leaning into to your trauma” only reinforces the pain. This course is adding additional best practices to my Trauma Informed “toolkit,” such as encouraging the student to change their “object of meditation” or “anchor” to disrupt intrusive thoughts. In effect, we are applying the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) principle of “changing your thoughts” and “you are not your thoughts.” I am enjoying the course thus far, and after some time for reflection I hope to bring other best practices to your attention.
